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It wasn’t until Adam and I created our arrangement that I realized I could actually have it all: commitment and freedom. I know lots of people who have very successful monogamous relationships and are really happy together.But a lot of people are challenging the conventional relationship style, and it’s working for them—just like it’s working for me.
But it works for us, and it’s not as unusual as it seems. An open relationship is a form of non-monogamy, which is an umbrella term for any physical or romantic partnership that is not predicated on exclusivity. In this article I’m focusing on what Adam and I are and do: a committed couple that takes lovers.With my current setup with Adam, he knows that yes, I am attracted to other people and am sleeping with some. And there’s no confidence booster like remembering that it’s me whom he comes home to and loves deeply. He knows all of my quirks, he knows what makes me tick and how to reason with me.Nobody knows me like Adam does, and nobody is going to know him like I do.I have a good friend who lives apart from her boyfriend; she has several regular male and female lovers, while he travels the world, finding spontaneous sexual encounters along the way.For another married couple I know, non-monogamy means one partner does things with lovers that his husband doesn't really enjoy doing, while the husband opts for trysts that last 25 minutes, tops.
We made a new rule then: No sleeping with Facebook friends, no friending lovers. Every attractive woman was a potential threat in my mind, and I was paranoid about my boyfriends’ connections with other people.