Dating black guys vs white guys
Janice Rhoshalle Littlejohn, co-author of the soon-to-be released put it best in the chapter called, “Let’s Talk About Sex …
and Stereotypes”: “We think we have evolved into new-millennium modern-day thinkers, but black women all over the country, regardless of education and socioeconomic status, are living with age-old ideas when it comes to our consideration of the ideal sexual partner.
But he was persistent, followed up by Skyping me that evening re-extending his invitation. A few days later, he was headed to a nearby island and invited me to come along to explore.
I was looking to get away from the city, so I accepted, of course, booking my own hotel room, and arriving days late on my own schedule.
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This is not a woe is me or self-depreciating post, but I've been around white guys whom I seem to develop deep connections and click with, but they never really express interest in taking it further than a friendship. I think a lot of white guys have a little bit of insecurity like I had, to be honest. Will you be angry with me at some point because I'm white (angry black person stereotype, I know..fair, but it's a fear nonetheless)? The one thing helped me get over that was that the girl in question was very forward. Okcupid had a blog post about this, the percentage against them isn't that bad it's like a percent or less, likewise for male asians.
I grew up believing a number of stereotypes about non-Black men, especially when it came to sex.
It’s amazing what I’ve learned in life when I’m open to more than one possibility. Have you ever tried sex with someone outside your race and found it went against popular stereotypes?We yearn to embrace our sexual bliss, and yet have allowed what our mothers, grandmothers, aunties, and sister-friends have said about “them” keep us from pursuing something new.We know how hard it is to fight against the stereotypes of black women as lascivious, innately promiscuous, and even predatory, deviants— and yet we feel more than justified in projecting our own labels on others, unfairly sizing up men and defining their capabilities between the sheets (or lack thereof) based on what so-and-so- said instead of considering the realities of the individual that just might be the guy who can makes your toes curl.” My toes curled, more than once. And even though I doubt me and this kid from Jersey will ever be more than just friends due to our chosen life paths (he’s ready to settle in one place and pursue a serious relationship, I want to keep traveling and find a partner who is willing to go with me), it was still worth giving us the opportunity to share intimacy, a deeper level of connection, and now, a stronger friendship.Prior to that, I had shared my body with White Brasilians and Argentineans. This made me feel like my growth had come full circle, as I struggled growing up in a predominately White Jersey suburb to feel like interracial dating was an option for a young Black woman.While young Black men certainly enjoyed relationships with young White women in my town, Black girls rarely were seen exploring the same types of relationships. But the opportunities weren’t equal or treated the same.
So when we hung out, all of the sudden our platonic friendship transformed into a prospect, even though it had likely already been a prospect for him months back.